Good Morning to everybody. I am very happy to be in the midst of so many young leaders and entrepreneurs. However, this makes me slightly worried also - I on the wrong side of 40 and you all on the right side of 20 - will I be able to connect? What I have in mind out of my experiences - will it make any sense to you? Further, I have spent my years in a strange field called police - which is quite far away from business - what could be common between a police leadership and business leadership?
2. With all these apprehension in mind, I must get down to the task which has been given to me - to share my thoughts on leadership and motivation. Here again, I will be talking at random - not in any sequence - because I am not a teacher and I have never studied these subjects in any college. I will be talking from my experiences and the thoughts that have been generated in about 2 decades of my working life and over 4 decades of living on this planet earth.
3. The world looks the way we want to look at it. If we put on red glasses - every thing looks red, if we put on green glasses - everything looks green. If we think the world is full of opportunities - it will appear to be so. If we think the world is full of problems - we will encounter problems everywhere. A positive attitude helps in facing the world better and cheerfully. In any given situation, let us look at the positive side - let us try to solve the problem instead of becoming part of it. Let us not find a scapegoat and fix him or her up - let us find out what can be done now to salvage the situation - We encounter such situations everywhere - at home, at work place, in relationships. I have seen mothers scolding the child when he falls sick - I told you not to eat so many ice creams or not to play in the rain etc instead of comforting the child and taking immediate steps without being critical. At work, it happens all the time - I will tell one incident which happened just few months back - in a village called Salarapatti in Udumalpet - there was a problem simmering between two communities. We had posted police pickets and were taking action to solve it. Meanwhile, suddenly one day, a clash broke out between two communities and few people were beaten up and few houses were damaged. The usual practice would have been - how was it allowed despite police picket? - what were police people doing there? Instead of asking these questions, we immediately took steps to contain and solve the problem - re-enforcements were rushed, further clashes were prevented, offenders were arrested immediately and later this question was also addressed – whether it was possible to prevent the clash?
4. Leadership is all about working with people and taking them along. People also respond in the way you think of them. If you think people (i.e. who are working with you) are lazy, not interested in work, not interested in putting in sincere efforts, not trust worthy – surprising they will turn out to be like that. If you think they are sincere, they want to work with responsibility and are trustworthy etc - they will behave accordingly. In fact, in one of my assignments, my boss had a notion that all of us must be present in the office by 9.30 – no one minute delay on any single day - because he thought if he did not insist we will not be on time. He ridiculed me for being late by 10 minutes or so two times. And you know the result - even a senior officer like me used to feel like really coming late or alternately one had a feeling - you can only make us come by 9.30. You cannot make us work - we will start working whenever we feel like. All he needed was just to trust us and leave us to do our job - and we would have done that gladly. I have seen that to trust others, we should first be trustworthy.
5. Let us make the work place a pleasant place where people want to come, work and contribute. Money is not the only motivator - though its importance cannot be denied. There has to be a sense of purpose in what one is doing. If we are offered Rs. one lakh per month just to dig a pit and fill it - how many days do you think we can last in that job? This of course may be an exaggeration but I think it drives the point home.
6. As a person in senior position, our job is to create atmosphere where our juniors can give out their best. We should be able to solve their problems - we should empower them to solve their problems - please remember - our juniors should listen to us - not because we can harm them if they don’t listen to us - but because what we say is worth listening.
7. In business or in life - it is very important to look at things from other person’s point of view. Most of the problems in relationships arise because we fail to look at things from other person’s point of view - I think many of you would have been ‘Santhosh Subramaniam’ - how father and son failed to see things from each other’s point of view while meaning good to each other and nearly brought disaster in so many lives. In business, it is all the more important. If I am manufacturing or selling something - it should meet the requirement of the customer - and not just satisfy my wishes. Otherwise, whatever beautiful or best quality our production is - it won’t sell. Let me again get back to‘ Santhosh Subramaniam ’ - the shirts the father bought were nice - the girl he chose was nice - but son didn’t like that. Looking things from other’s point of view is not only a good policy in life but also a secret for commercial success.
8. I would like you to remember there are many ways for success like there are many paths to reach the god. Each one of you have to find your own path. Likewise, in real life there are many facets of truth. For us to be right - somebody else need not to be wrong. Even two people of differing opinions can be right. I may remind you of the famous story of few blind men trying to discover the elephant and coming to totally different conclusions. They all were true ( at least partially ).
9. I would also like you all to subscribe to abundant mentality - somebody else’s success is not my failure - I don’t have to reach the top by pulling down somebody - in real life, there is enough space at the top for as many people to stand.
10. A few words on the time management - working hard is all very well. But a lot of times, hard work can be substituted by planning. All those who are little familiar with cooking will appreciate this - If we want curd for lunch, we have to put little quantity of curd in warm milk in the morning and just leave it to set. This whole exercise may require 1-2 minutes. But, if you have failed to do that in the morning - what ever else you do including standing on your head - the curd can not be prepared ( of course, you can buy it from a shop ).
11. Similarly, if you have to make a train trip - if you book the ticket well in advance - it will require few minutes and no tension and at the given time you can simply board the train. But, if we have failed to do that till last minute, the reservation may not be available and any amount of hard work may prove futile.
12. I would like to emphasize that - the time can be best managed by prioritizing - for that, one should first know what is one’s priority in life - just to make money - to live happily and fully - or whatever. The time for everyone is the same - 24 hours a day. If we cut down on unnecessary work, we will find time to do the more important work. Delegation and empowerment of subordinates also helps in reducing the work load.
13. I can go on and on like this. But let me now wind up by wishing you all the success in your life. Let all your dreams come true. And you lead very happy and successful lives. Thank you.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
SPEECH DELIVERED AT AVINASHILINGAM HOME SCIENCE COLLEGE, COIMBATORE ON THE EVE OF INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY
Good Morning to everybody,
Today when I stand before you- a large group of young and beautiful women – frankly speaking I feel quite nervous. I sincerely think it is easier to face a riotous mob than a dignified gathering of so many women.
However, having agreed to come and take part in the celebrations of international Women’s Day and to speak to you all my mind, I must try to discharge my duty however tough it mayappear.
Today we have gathered to celebrate womanhood – you would all agree with me that it is wonderful to be a woman – The God has endowed us women with certain innate qualities such as affection and care which make us women so special. If you ask me, the essence of womanhood is in these two attributes – affection and care. Working women should not leave, I repeat, should not leave these qualities at home but take it to work place and apply it whole heartedly there. If a woman can make a difference at work place – it is because of these special attributes which are so natural to her. From my experience in Police, I would emphasize that they are much valued and useful in Police environment also.
I must remind you that capability has nothing to do with gender- women are as capable as any one else – only there are some special roles which society has assigned to them – ie home making and upbringing of the children.
My suggestion to those who are opting to go out of home to work is to be self reliant. Look after your affairs yourself as far as possible. If you have a mother or a mother-in-law to help you – it is well and good. Otherwise, hire domestic help, seek help from your spouse and bring up children in a manner that they are also able to look after themselves.
Whether we choose to go out to work or not, home making stays our primary responsibility. A word of caution here- let us make homes- let us not break them. I get lot of women petitioners whose complaint is that my husband listens to his parents which is causing lot of disturbance in my household. Advice my husband to separate from the parents and not to listen to them. I wonder since when listening to parents has become a crime - I ask them - would you teach your son not to listen to you?
One small suggestion regarding dealing with the husband – accept him as he is and don’t try to change him. I have known women who have spent their lives trying to change their husbands’ habits and ended up in misery. May be some of the “fortunate” ones are successful in doing that but my point is – it is not necessary. Supposing you like to drink tea – he likes to drink coffee, there is nothing wrong or right about drinking tea or coffee. Both of you can sit together and drink – you - your tea and he – his coffee and enjoy the togetherness.
I once come across a friend of my husband who was expressing his jubilation as his wife was leaving for her parent’s home. I was shocked to see his response. This made me to think – would I like my husband to be happier when I am not around. Certainly not- Then I must allow him to do things which he likes so that he does not look forward to my going away. I sincerely wish my husband who is living alone in Chennai is not a “happier” person due to my absence.
To extend it a bit further – let us live in a way that when we die, someone genuinely feels a loss, someone sheds 2 drops of tears.
What about making this a motto of life-“Be happy and make others happy”. Only a happy person can make others happy. We ourselves will not like to associate with unhappy people. Let us ask ourselves at the end of the day- how many people I made happy today- or otherwise.
Few things help in reaching towards this goal-
Forget and forgive- Two very simple words but if applied to our day to day life, may change it entirely. Misunderstanding keeps happening all the time with the persons we are in close contact with – with our parents, husband, friends or at work place. If we learn to forget a small un-pleasantness caused by some loved one and learn to forgive them – the life would be much happier for everyone. When you remember a wrong done by some one every time, you come across that person – it creates lot of negativity in you and in that person too and definitely saps your happiness.
There are few things that are not taught in any college – e.g. empathy and understanding. These are two wonderful qualities that help in living life in much happier manner. Empathy and understanding – both ultimately mean – trying to see things from other person’s point of view and trying to understand why they are behaving in that particular manner. A situation or behavior, if not understood properly, may lead to disastrous results. I remember an old Hindi movie in which the heroine wants to give surprise to her husband on their wedding anniversary. She goes out with out telling the husband to his painter friend’s studio to get a portrait of herself and present it to him. One day on suspicion, when the husband follows her and peeps through the door, the painter is adjusting her hair and the husband draws some expected conclusions and abandons the wife – how the misunderstanding is sorted out is the rest of the story.
This may be an extreme example but lesser examples we come across all the time – Once I called a friend of mine, who is also my junior in service, 2-3 time over few days and she did not respond – I was almost thinking what’s wrong with that lady and was about to conclude that it is a very impolite behavior on her part not to return my call. But soon she called and told that she had had a miscarriage recently and had suffered a lot physically and emotionally. Just imagine without knowing and understanding her situation-I had started blaming her.
Please remember most of the hurt is caused by the loved ones only. The strangers don’t have that much capacity to hurt. This term empathy I will extend to our everyday situation at the home-let me treat my mother-in-law the way I would like my mother to be treated by my brother’s wife. As I am myself reaching towards becoming a mother-in-law, I think being a good daughter-in-law is much simpler that being a good mother-in-law. Any way, I hope and wish my daughter-in-law finds me a good mother-in-law.
This bring me back to the thought that whatever else a woman does-she may be the most successful business owner, Lawyer or Teacher- the most central job to her remains brining up her children. I would consider success at job hollow if the children have not been brought up well. Life can be tough sometimes. Let us have the attitude to overcome problems instead of allowing the problems to overcome us.
There are so many things I can go on saying. Let me bring you back to the planet Venus to which we women are supposed to belong. – Every woman in beautiful in her own right. With a good heart and a pleasant disposition –a woman exudes beauty no matter what her external features are.
On this International Woman’s Day, I extend my greetings to all of you and wish you all success in your life.
********
Today when I stand before you- a large group of young and beautiful women – frankly speaking I feel quite nervous. I sincerely think it is easier to face a riotous mob than a dignified gathering of so many women.
However, having agreed to come and take part in the celebrations of international Women’s Day and to speak to you all my mind, I must try to discharge my duty however tough it mayappear.
Today we have gathered to celebrate womanhood – you would all agree with me that it is wonderful to be a woman – The God has endowed us women with certain innate qualities such as affection and care which make us women so special. If you ask me, the essence of womanhood is in these two attributes – affection and care. Working women should not leave, I repeat, should not leave these qualities at home but take it to work place and apply it whole heartedly there. If a woman can make a difference at work place – it is because of these special attributes which are so natural to her. From my experience in Police, I would emphasize that they are much valued and useful in Police environment also.
I must remind you that capability has nothing to do with gender- women are as capable as any one else – only there are some special roles which society has assigned to them – ie home making and upbringing of the children.
My suggestion to those who are opting to go out of home to work is to be self reliant. Look after your affairs yourself as far as possible. If you have a mother or a mother-in-law to help you – it is well and good. Otherwise, hire domestic help, seek help from your spouse and bring up children in a manner that they are also able to look after themselves.
Whether we choose to go out to work or not, home making stays our primary responsibility. A word of caution here- let us make homes- let us not break them. I get lot of women petitioners whose complaint is that my husband listens to his parents which is causing lot of disturbance in my household. Advice my husband to separate from the parents and not to listen to them. I wonder since when listening to parents has become a crime - I ask them - would you teach your son not to listen to you?
One small suggestion regarding dealing with the husband – accept him as he is and don’t try to change him. I have known women who have spent their lives trying to change their husbands’ habits and ended up in misery. May be some of the “fortunate” ones are successful in doing that but my point is – it is not necessary. Supposing you like to drink tea – he likes to drink coffee, there is nothing wrong or right about drinking tea or coffee. Both of you can sit together and drink – you - your tea and he – his coffee and enjoy the togetherness.
I once come across a friend of my husband who was expressing his jubilation as his wife was leaving for her parent’s home. I was shocked to see his response. This made me to think – would I like my husband to be happier when I am not around. Certainly not- Then I must allow him to do things which he likes so that he does not look forward to my going away. I sincerely wish my husband who is living alone in Chennai is not a “happier” person due to my absence.
To extend it a bit further – let us live in a way that when we die, someone genuinely feels a loss, someone sheds 2 drops of tears.
What about making this a motto of life-“Be happy and make others happy”. Only a happy person can make others happy. We ourselves will not like to associate with unhappy people. Let us ask ourselves at the end of the day- how many people I made happy today- or otherwise.
Few things help in reaching towards this goal-
Forget and forgive- Two very simple words but if applied to our day to day life, may change it entirely. Misunderstanding keeps happening all the time with the persons we are in close contact with – with our parents, husband, friends or at work place. If we learn to forget a small un-pleasantness caused by some loved one and learn to forgive them – the life would be much happier for everyone. When you remember a wrong done by some one every time, you come across that person – it creates lot of negativity in you and in that person too and definitely saps your happiness.
There are few things that are not taught in any college – e.g. empathy and understanding. These are two wonderful qualities that help in living life in much happier manner. Empathy and understanding – both ultimately mean – trying to see things from other person’s point of view and trying to understand why they are behaving in that particular manner. A situation or behavior, if not understood properly, may lead to disastrous results. I remember an old Hindi movie in which the heroine wants to give surprise to her husband on their wedding anniversary. She goes out with out telling the husband to his painter friend’s studio to get a portrait of herself and present it to him. One day on suspicion, when the husband follows her and peeps through the door, the painter is adjusting her hair and the husband draws some expected conclusions and abandons the wife – how the misunderstanding is sorted out is the rest of the story.
This may be an extreme example but lesser examples we come across all the time – Once I called a friend of mine, who is also my junior in service, 2-3 time over few days and she did not respond – I was almost thinking what’s wrong with that lady and was about to conclude that it is a very impolite behavior on her part not to return my call. But soon she called and told that she had had a miscarriage recently and had suffered a lot physically and emotionally. Just imagine without knowing and understanding her situation-I had started blaming her.
Please remember most of the hurt is caused by the loved ones only. The strangers don’t have that much capacity to hurt. This term empathy I will extend to our everyday situation at the home-let me treat my mother-in-law the way I would like my mother to be treated by my brother’s wife. As I am myself reaching towards becoming a mother-in-law, I think being a good daughter-in-law is much simpler that being a good mother-in-law. Any way, I hope and wish my daughter-in-law finds me a good mother-in-law.
This bring me back to the thought that whatever else a woman does-she may be the most successful business owner, Lawyer or Teacher- the most central job to her remains brining up her children. I would consider success at job hollow if the children have not been brought up well. Life can be tough sometimes. Let us have the attitude to overcome problems instead of allowing the problems to overcome us.
There are so many things I can go on saying. Let me bring you back to the planet Venus to which we women are supposed to belong. – Every woman in beautiful in her own right. With a good heart and a pleasant disposition –a woman exudes beauty no matter what her external features are.
On this International Woman’s Day, I extend my greetings to all of you and wish you all success in your life.
********
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
FEW THOUGHTS..
# THE REAL SENSE OF POWER FLOWS OUT OF CONTROL OVER ONESELF AND NOT BY CONTROLLING OTHERS...
# PEOPLE VALUE YOU NOT SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU DO TO THEM BUT FOR WHAT YOU ARE...
# IT IS DIFFICULT TO TRUST OTHERS IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TRUSTWORTHY...
# LOYALTY IS NOT BOUGHT, IT IS EARNED...
# WE NEED NOT DO THINGS BECAUSE IT WILL PLEASE OR DISPLEASE SOMEONE, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE IT IS A RIGHT THING TO DO...
#YOUR JOB AS SUPERIOR OFFICER IS TO CREATE ATMOSPHERE WHERE YOUR SUBORDINATES CAN GIVE THEIR BEST...
#PEOPLE SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU NOT BECAUSE YOU WILL HARM THEM OTHERWISE, BUT BECAUSE WHAT YOU SAY IS WORTH LISTENING...
#GIVE YOUR SUBORDINATES THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACHIEVE...
#DONT LET THEM FAIL, HELP THEM SUCCEED, LOOK AFTER THEM...
# YOU ARE A CELEBRITY IF SOMEONE CELEBRATES YOUR EXISTENCE...
# HOW YOU HANDLE GOOD TIMES WILL DETERMINE HOW YOU ARE GOING TO HANDLE BAD TIMES...
# YOU FEEL STRONG WHEN YOU KNOW THAT SOMEBODY FEELS STRONG BECAUSE OF YOU...
# THE POWER IS NOT IN THE DEITY BUT IN YOUR FAITH IN THAT DEITY...
# HAPPINESS DOES NOT ALWAYS LIE IN WHAT YOU WANT TO DO BUT IN DOING WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING...
# PEOPLE VALUE YOU NOT SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU DO TO THEM BUT FOR WHAT YOU ARE...
# IT IS DIFFICULT TO TRUST OTHERS IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TRUSTWORTHY...
# LOYALTY IS NOT BOUGHT, IT IS EARNED...
# WE NEED NOT DO THINGS BECAUSE IT WILL PLEASE OR DISPLEASE SOMEONE, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE IT IS A RIGHT THING TO DO...
#YOUR JOB AS SUPERIOR OFFICER IS TO CREATE ATMOSPHERE WHERE YOUR SUBORDINATES CAN GIVE THEIR BEST...
#PEOPLE SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU NOT BECAUSE YOU WILL HARM THEM OTHERWISE, BUT BECAUSE WHAT YOU SAY IS WORTH LISTENING...
#GIVE YOUR SUBORDINATES THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACHIEVE...
#DONT LET THEM FAIL, HELP THEM SUCCEED, LOOK AFTER THEM...
# YOU ARE A CELEBRITY IF SOMEONE CELEBRATES YOUR EXISTENCE...
# HOW YOU HANDLE GOOD TIMES WILL DETERMINE HOW YOU ARE GOING TO HANDLE BAD TIMES...
# YOU FEEL STRONG WHEN YOU KNOW THAT SOMEBODY FEELS STRONG BECAUSE OF YOU...
# THE POWER IS NOT IN THE DEITY BUT IN YOUR FAITH IN THAT DEITY...
# HAPPINESS DOES NOT ALWAYS LIE IN WHAT YOU WANT TO DO BUT IN DOING WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING...
TRY THIS...
PROTECT AN INNOCENCE
STRENGTHEN A BELIEF
DEVELOP A POTENTIAL
INSPIRE TRUST
DONT LET DOWN FAITH
DONT SHATTER A DREAM
HELP OTHERS GROW
& YOU ALSO GROW IN THE PROCESS.....
STRENGTHEN A BELIEF
DEVELOP A POTENTIAL
INSPIRE TRUST
DONT LET DOWN FAITH
DONT SHATTER A DREAM
HELP OTHERS GROW
& YOU ALSO GROW IN THE PROCESS.....
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